Fatime's Friday Findings
15th November 2024
Hi!
Friday, innit.
Which means that here are 9 of my most popular recent LinkedIn posts on #coaching, #introvertmarketing #mindset, #personalities with the #Enneagram, and my coaching program, #LearningToLoveLeading.
I hope you find them useful!
With love,
Fatime <3
P.s. If you find value in my 'findings', please consider signing up for a paid subscription and sharing this letter with an introverted (Enneagram) coach friend as well. Any one of these steps will help me tremendously to continue my mission of empowering introverts while spreading the word about the power of the Enneagram. Thank you! <3
1,
Overdeliver in Our Marketing
Excerpt from a recent feedback email I sent someone re the issues with overdelivering (too early on) in our marketing:
"Re length and overdelivering, my two cents, if any of it might be useful:
I keep making the same, generous 'mistake' of regularly 'overdelivering' too 'soon' in the 'funnel' too (Type 8 here, hello :D), and I'm slowly realizing that it's not only not 'fair' with me, but it doesn't actually serve them either (and can even put people off, or overwhelm/confuse them).
It all requires some learning and quite a lot of 'personality work' is involved too, TBH, which we ALL have affecting our marketing, from what I can tell.
For example, a few webinars and masterclasses delivered by Type 7s I've recently attended were
–too intellectually jammed, both in terms of content and visual clutter on the slides themselves
–sometimes too 'bitty', i.e. flashing out too many 'options' at every stage –and not supporting the attendees enough in seeing the bigger picture (who are often more novice to the subject matter than us)
–re purpose of the thing (webinar), funnel, etc.: At earlier levels perhaps it's best to give less (i.e. more 'birds eye view' style), so that a, we don't burn ourselves out and b, that people don't feel they've been 'dragged into' (got stuck in) a bigger commitment already than they would have, at this stage (e.g. going over promised time, etc.).
(I have a strong T7 wing too, and am very prone to making the same mistakes, if not paying conscious attention.)"
How is your personality affecting your marketing and your 'funnel'?
P.s. Another (somewhat related) question I also get asked a lot is about how much of our 'best stuff' (content) we should ever be giving away for free. The answer to this still is 'everything', I think, given that we don't live in an information-scarce world anymore, so there's no point in trying to capitalize on just 'providing' sheer 'knowledge' these days (...much as though my inner, very strong T5 is also constantly resisting acknowledging this, booo... :D). In other words, instead of just focusing on any 'information', we want to be shifting our attention (and theirs) to any 'transformation'. (...Just portion it all right, as per stage in their 'customer journey' and our own energetic boundaries, etc.)
Thoughts, comments, questions? Hit reply and let me know, or book in for a free chat about where your marketing is at these days, here.
2,
Why Bother?
Why should we market even if we have clients through word of mouth?
I don't think we should ever 'afford' ourselves the luxury of not doing any (sustainable, ethical, aligned ... –"happy" :D) marketing even if we currently have enough clients.
If you are paying attention you might have noticed that even some 'big names' in the coaching industry are making sure they are consistently visible on (multiple) platforms, to make sure they are seen by the right people.
(Funnily enough this is even true of some big names whose main spiel is all about how you should 'just-coach-don't-market' ... ;)).
So here's why we should make sure we don't hide/slack.
–> quality: the 'quality' of the people who we actually want to work with (=who we feel most inspired to serve) matters in terms of our professional and personal fulfilment, and if we send our content 'ahead' of ourselves, as our 'quasi brand ambassadors' (speaking of our values, skills, and personality), we'll attract higher quality folks.
–> quantity: the number of 'right fit' clients also increases as we learn to proactively attract AND filter (!) through our marketing
–> expansion, growth: as a result of both quality and quantity we gain momentum and more experience serving one particular client demographic, which tends to increase our professional (intellectual, creative, emotional) satisfaction as well ... We also become more easily referrable by existing clients (who might be our raving fans already but need our help in putting ourselves out there just enough so that they know where to direct their friends, family, colleagues, etc. who want to first check us out 'from a safe distance'.)
To sum up, it's just general 'good business hygiene' to market, even if today you have enough (and good enough) clients.
Agree and ready to uplevel? Start by brainstorming about your niche, using this awesome new niching handbook.
3,
Cold Calls from the Grave
In Mexico cold calling people on their mobile phone is (still) all the rage.
There are other 80s and 90s marketing methods still present here, parallel to some proper, cutting edge 2020s stuff too (such as podcasting or Substack). This just goes to show that time is an illusion in that everything is always present at the same time, right? (Hello Ken Wilber.)
In other words, there are medieval ways to live, to think, to be on the planet right now, as well as some truly evolved levels of consciousness. (Note: I wrote this post before the US Election results, BTW. :D)
The same is true of marketing in Mexico.
Mobile companies and banks are most notorious for pestering you like this, and there is no way (polite or less agreeable) to stop them from calling you on a number you never gave them, sometimes multiple times a day, addressing you using your name that they shouldn't know either.
This is especially triggering for introverts such as e.g. Type 5s (or anybody with a T5 fix), Body Types, and/or Self-Pres folks, etc. all for different personality related reasons to do with things such as intrusion, privacy, boundaries, just to mention but a few.
And then once or twice a year, Gayosso calls too.
Gayosso is the most recognized funeral services brand in the country, and if you don't immediately hang up on them, their sales agents will arm wrestle you (aka aggressively objection handle the f*ck out of your polite brains) to explain how you do need to buy a package right now.
Yes, even if you are single.
Yes, even if you are dead broke (pun not intended).
Yes, even if you are (relatively ... :D) young.
And yes, even if you are healthy.
There is unsolicited sales calls and the disruption that these cause, but then there is being sold death, aggressively, out of the blue, say on a sunny morning. Quite something else entirely (...especially for introverts.)
Now even as one who is also is very sensitive (susceptible) to interruptions because of my general openness to the world and new ideas, I don't always mind being temporarily disrupted and hijacked IF there is a good reason.
I'm paying coaches to do this, after all, and buying books, and constantly seeking to invest in 'disrupting' my own current mental frameworks and perspectives. (#SX)
But there has to be a 'good' reason for us ever welcoming being disrupted, meaning that our life or our current lack of awareness around the causes of a problem, etc. have to noticeably improve immediately upon being interrupted. And this kind of relevance is very hard to pull off because if I had a 'bleeding neck' problem already, I would likely be reading, searching, orienting to the topic on my own already.
And this is the risk in 'cold' marketing (outbound, bulk DMs, etc.) exactly: that you will be just disrupting –for no good reason at all.
And as we are being disrupted more and more today, we (and my bet here is that not just introverts) will be yearning more and more for 'them good ol' analog times' when we actually welcomed a ping, a call, a notification, because it signaled an authentic (personalized, relevant, meaningful) connection (and yes 'disruption' too, but a welcome and valuable one).
How are you marketing that's meaningful-valuable for them (instead of just disruptive)? (If not sure that you are, book a free call to see how you could change this. ;))
P.s. Happy Halloween, y'all!
4,
When To Shed Your Niche
I love helping introverted coaches and Enneagram practitioners of ALL personalities (Type & Instinct combos) become thought leaders by claiming (creating) their turfs (niches) to continue evangelizing the Enneagram in the world.
And then working with a SX 8w7 Enneagram practitioner client these days on creating (articulating) their exact new niche is, in many ways, an even more fascinating experience in that it's a first-hand eye-opener to helping me see my own personality's 'madnesses' (yes, in plural) up close though 'out there' –therefore more clearly.
It's 'spooky' to be coaching my very own personality through 'our' unique issues because it is directing some massive attention (stadium light beams, more like) for me into this specific personality's (ego cocktail’s) relationship with (khmm, overuse of ...) such things as
–> rejection and the edge: rejection (T8) combined with exploration and constantly seeking the edge (SX) in practice means the urge to take a sledge hammer from time to time and destroy what we've become known for (=good at) for years or even decades, in an attempt to aggressively reinvent ourselves, no matter what (e.g. temporary financial repercussions, reputational risks, instability, etc.)
–> challenge: wanting, needing a constant (professional, creative) challenge tends to mean we prefer always working with more 'advanced' clients, whatever that might mean in a specific industry
(In this client's case it boils down to not wanting to teach the Types much, from scratch, if at all, but rather to really shift their focus to helping people who are already Enneagram-aware, have their Type (and Instincts) nailed, to actually learn to finally 'leave the box', through practical tools and practices, i.e. seamlessly operationalizing the system through their 'secret sauce' and some special somatic methods).
–>'too-much-ness': we have a propensity to be 'too much' (in terms of quantity and tempo, as well as cognitive complexity, e.g. in our content): the sheer length of our posts, the windiness, the length of each sentence and paragraph, the amount of abstract (aka 'woo' or 'coach') talk
–> skill vs theory: we are also fascinated by and drawn to, wanting to always focus on applicability, utility and skill, but still often flirt with and unconsciously fall into the trap of getting stuck in the 'theoretical realm' again and again (thanks to our line to T5 ...).
–> vulnerability vs transmitting: dancing with vulnerability (because we know this IS the way 'out' for us, T8s) BUT making sure we don't overdo it, due to the SX Instinct's propensity to overexposing itself as well. In terms of common marketing mistakes this can mean that at times we are excessively self-referential, sometimes somewhat 'purposelessly' too, from the reader's/prospect's point of view, in that we might not offer them enough guardrails and clear 'follow through' in our writing as to 'what is in it for THEM, at every step of the way.
All of this has been making me ponder the validity of my deep conviction of (fondness for) 'beacon marketing', and the whole question around just how much of 'myself' can I 'allow' into my own marketing (and coaching).
In this client's (and my) case, the concrete strategic questions are whether we should (can 'afford to') continue marketing through emphasizing
–> rejection and the edge, i.e. just how much 'destruction' (constantly, compulsively disrupting ourselves) is still creatively, professionally 'rejuvenating' (... but without making us become so 'cutting edge' that we end up accidentally 'cutting' ourselves too, along the way)
–> challenge, i.e. just how picky we should ever be with 'beginners', i.e. should we really be actively filtering for only more advanced clients in our marketing (... and the usual fear around this: whether there is enough of them)
–> 'too-much-ness', i.e. whether we can ('should') keep creating content that's 'too much' in terms of e.g. quantity, tempo, cognitive complexity, level of abstractness, etc.
–> skill vs theory, i.e. if it is 'OK' to see the world (and our marketing efforts) through this particular (maybe false... :D) dichotomy, or whether we should lean into the Law of Three here and try to detach from our personality-specific obsession with travelling along this (limiting) line (between T8 and 5) all the time...
–> vulnerability vs transmitting, i.e. where exactly the line is between being 'too' self-referential (that's NOT inspiring/educational for the reader) as opposed to healthy, 'human' transparency?
Well, to avoid a cliffhanger (as in, shying away from any perhaps meaningful (!) vulnerability here), I don't personally think that there are exact answers to these questions, as per the idea of an 'ideal client'. Namely, that those who your particular flavor is for, WILL 'get it' (will appreciate this specific 'madness cocktail', and likely big time (=not just 'tolerate it').
Because newsflash, this just in: personality IS bias.
Which (if 'healthy enough', i.e. not too reactive, etc.) is fine, becoming more and more OK to rely on, in fact, as we're leaving our industrial age obsession with standardized criteria and cookie cutter specs accompanying these anyways.
In other words, personality and flavor IS the new 'specs' of the creator economy.
We just need to make sure we're bringing a 'healthy' version of it to the table (to our market), i.e. offering our distilled gifts through self-mastery (self-awareness, self-compassion and self-regulation), with the help of the Enneagram of course.
And the contradiction is that if we do enough of this, we might then be able to 'afford' to shed our niche (almost) entirely and/or quite frequently. (Yaaay, go SX? ;P)
Because similarly to personality, the healthier we are becoming (the more we learn to live again 'from' essence), the less marked and less palpable our personality is becoming.
In other words, it starts to release us.
And the same can (eventually) happen with a niche, sometimes quite inconspicuously.
But while it might be possible to live (serve, market, etc.) without the initial container / scaffold of a niche, it's much (much) harder than to travel within its 'confines'. This is because it's hard to gain meaningful traction without a vehicle.
If we do a good enough job niching at the beginning though, we'll be able to gradually escape from its clutches (if we want to by then), as such radical digital creators as (the likely SX T5) Dan Koe like to preach.
All this (eternal?) dance thanks to the fact that the SX Instinct is a 'mercurial' and 'serpentine' energy, as e.g. David Gray teaches; i.e. it is the least stable of the 3 (i.e. SX, SO and SP) in that it carries the massive polarity and volatility in it of wanting to stand out by constantly calling attention to itself in an attempt to secure a mate and weed out the competition while also wanting to keep radically reinventing itself from time to time.
Sexual dominant folks might therefore be amazing at crafting a niche as they aren't afraid of letting their freak flag fly (... like real high :D), BUT consistency and smaller pivots away from the niche (e.g. to only broaden it instead of abandoning or destroying it completely) might be a bigger challenge for most of them.
(And then there are the occasional SX introverted coaches who I meet who absolutely refuse to niche even 'temporarily' as even the idea triggers SX Instinct reactivity, along the lines of 'f*ck competing' and 'f*ck taking on ANY shape, even temporarily' ...
With which I tend to work by helping them fall in love with the niching process through noticing that a truly unique niche might just mean that you're literally THE ONLY ONE in the WORLD doing a thing, with the added caveat too that yes, you're even broader (more unique) than 'just' that in your entirety as a human being, but it's just easier to somehow communicate (online!) about who you are and what you do if we have SOME boundaries around these at first ...)
Phew, what a windy post, this... :O (#SX)
Better wrap it, so CONCLUSION:
1, do niche
2, enjoy the ride
3, pivot later
4, (...and if you're SX Instinct Dominant: You ARE unique no matter what, and remember, this is all 'just marketing'... ;))
Thoughts? Questions? Hit reply and let me know!
P.s. Would appreciate a handy overview of the Instincts? Start here.
5,
“I’m Curious”
Have you noticed that certain words and phrases get 'picked up' (and overused) by 'the zeitgeist'?
('Zeitgeist' might be one too, actually, come to think of it... :D Yayks.)
But also the phrase 'I'm curious', which has lately become a signpost ... of a looming pitch (slap). :D
Is it just me? Or do you also dread reading this question?
(And if you're super honest, do you also accidentally overuse it, i.e. say it more as a social (marketing) token, even when you haven't first checked with yourself to see if you actually ARE 'curious'?
'I'm curious'. ;P Do you use 'I'm curious' mindfully? Let me know!
#mindfulmarketing
6,
How to Use Your Essential Qualities in Your Marketing
Here is what to pay attention to in your marketing to really leverage your unique gifts (essential qualities), as opposed to accidentally 'overdoing' them by 'falling into' personality.
Type 8: aliveness, immediacy, strength –but without accidentally overchallenging your audience (e.g. through too many, too long, too difficult, or too 'rebel rousing', aka ranty posts)
Type 9: wholeness, unity, being –but without accidentally loosing track of who you're talking to and why (i.e. try to remain somewhat 'sharp' ('on niche, on brand, on point') and 'high definition' enough, when creating content for a specific 'avatar' with a specific 'problem'
Type 1: goodness, sacredness, purity –but without accidentally sounding too uptight or 'preachy' (by reminding yourself from time to time that often there are many 'correct' ways of doing things)
Type 2: love, sweetness, nurturing –but without accidentally 'loving on people too hard' (and making them feel they're somehow now obliged to reciprocate, even though they aren't ready or don't actually feel that it's really a fit for them)
Type 3: preciousness, radiance, value –but without accidentally 'sparkling too much' and giving the impression that you have all your sh*t together on all fronts at all times (as a, this can be intimidating and b, we know it can't possibly true, as per the realities of a human life –ANY human's)
Type 4: depth, authenticity, beauty –but without accidentally conveying with your tone that you are looking down on your prospects, or compulsively putting too many spins even on things that could stay 'generic', for clarity's and practicality's sake
Type 5: illumination, clarity, knowledge –but without accidentally making your audience (prospects) feel that they are stupid (e.g. by extrapolating too far and/or wide and/or suddenly in your posts)
Type 6: awakeness, commitment, loyalty –but without accidentally 'destabilizing' your followers (or prospect who are already ready to buy) by bringing too much of your own 'doubt' to the table, or too much of your need to 'show both sides of a coin' and (almost excessive) due diligence (while overselling as a result)
Type 7: freedom, positivity, joy –but without accidentally confusing (losing) your audience with your sheer tempo, unwavering optimism (even when it would be 'healthy' or useful to notice and acknowledge what's not working), as well as potential issues with coherence due to a lack of follow through (e.g. on one single main theme only in a post!)
What's your Type? Did the tips resonate? Let me know in the comments or by hitting reply!
And if you need an overview of (not just the essential qualities) of the Types, check this mini handbook.
7,
How It Can Be a Good Thing If You Don't Want to 'Show Yourself'
Maybe you don't want to talk about yourself ('expose' yourself too-too much) in your marketing because you aren't sure it's valuable for them ...
And maybe this is a good thing, because, well, TBH maybe it isn't... YET.
So in that sense your 'social meter' is right (and you aren't a narcissist –phew.)
Because this IS a thin line.
As in, we do want to use ourselves as part of our 'brand', i.e. as a sort of 'carrier' of our message or mission, BUT we have to make sure we are never 'the' main course (aka the message itself, LOL).
A good gauge to help us watch out for this is to be constantly asking ourselves such useful prompts as
'...so what?'
and, most importantly
'...OK, but what's in it for THEM?'
(In other words, 'How is what I'm sharing relevant, and useful for them, aka purposeful exposure.)
And at the crux of all of this, of course, is niche.
Because to be able to ('confidently, clearly, consistently') walk this line you need to gain clarity on
–> the problem you solve for a concrete demographic
and
–> the tangible transformation you help them achieve.
How do you walk this line? Is showing e.g. your face ever triggering for you?
(If so but you want this change, book in here for a few useful tips.)
8,
This Is a Tragedy
When I see talented (introverted) Enneagram practitioners doing their marketing 'wrong', it breaks my heart.
The Enneagram is such a (or rather THE MOST) powerful tool for human liberation both on the individual AND societal levels that we need to do better when it comes to us trying to spread its wisdom and healing capabilities.
And 'better' in my book means doing it justice by marketing our offers right.
And 'right' means (among others)
–clear offers: this refers to everything we do, i.e. even unpaid webinars, discovery calls, free PDFs, etc. –all have to be and 'feel' purposeful for our ideal clients, depending on the stage in their journey
–clear, tangible outcomes: better still if these are listed, bullet pointed
–clear language: i.e. never too 'woo', and always speaking to them, using their own words and phrases (=speaking about the problem or situation seen from their perspective / angle, i.e. as they understand how things are now)
–clear practical details: the where, when, whats of any activity, including links, scheduling details, clear and consistent calls to action buttons, smooth orientation re what happens next, throughout any process when they come 'into our world'
and a
–clear strategy in our minds re the purpose that any of our marketing activities serve in our 'funnel'.
(Not sure you have all these nailed? Would like a quick 'audit' of your (Enneagram) offer as it is now? Book in for a quick free 'audit' here!)
9,
Help Me Be Free
If you know the Enneagram on a good intermediate-ish level, you might still be overidentifying with (=busy practicing recognizing) the categories (Types and Instincts, etc.)
Which can then (unfortunately) often beat its growth work purpose in that this might accidentally make us all (subconsciously) force each other into all sorts of personality stereotypes.
We start 'expecting' (or subtly encouraging) that e.g. a Type 8 always be 'blustery', or that a Type 6 'question everything' (then 'question again').
We are surprised (and say as much) when a Self-Pres Type is (finally) free from looking at everything from an angle of money and resources alone, or if a Sexual Type is (finally) learning not to be overly 'seductive' in their demeanor, across all contexts (i.e. not just the bedroom).
This tacit agreement we accidentally take to people then prohibits everybody's growth.
So perhaps the invitation instead is to assume that Types 8s are gentle, that Type 6s are calm and 'core confident', etc.
And that Self-Pres Dominant means a healthy use (i.e. not overuse) of resources and SX folks can look at fellow humans (and themselves) as just that, i.e. human (as opposed to either just objects of desire or invisible/irrelevant.)
Let's make the new tacit interpersonal agreement that we won't 'push each other into personality', by lending each other the benefit of the doubt upfront that they will be able to deliver on their virtues, as well as focusing on our own self-mastery through self-awareness, self-compassion and self-regulation, shall we ...?
(Curious about the virtues of all the 9 Types? Check them here.)
Keep rockin', happy coaching!
Fatime <3
P.s. Any aha-moments reading this week's tips? Hit reply and let me know, help me learn!